It was one of those days. We all have them. Days where no matter how desperately you try to keep everything sewn together with the loose threads you have, it inevitably unravels, and you find yourself frantically looking for the seam ripper because if it’s all coming apart anyway, you might as well expedite the process and get it over with!
Welcome to “Meltdown Monday”.
The collision of a stressful work environment, elevated emotions, extreme fatigue, excruciating head pain and exaggerated physical symptoms culminated into the day I had sensed was approaching, yet was unsure when it would exactly arrive. Two things I did know for certain, however, is that when it came it was guaranteed not to be pretty and it would probably occur at the least ideal place possible…such as at my desk at work, on a Monday morning, when the traffic flow of people in and around my cubicle would be as chaotic as a colony of ants at a summer picnic.
Bless the precious heart of my boss. She has countless balls to juggle at work and does so with much grace and talent. She seizes opportunities to positively impact the lives of those with whom she works and takes a genuine interest in their professional success and personal wellbeing. And while she is one of the last people I would want trapped in my meltdown aftermath, God places the right people in the right place at the right time to help us-or wrap an arm around us and just cry with us- in our moments of need. People who, whether knowingly or not, are an extension of Jesus.
That’s when it occurred to me – it’s ok to lose it, for I was not created to shoulder the weight of the world, or my own burdens, alone. You see, reaching the limit of my own strength caused me to turn to and rely on the unlimited resource of God’s strength. When I say, “I can’t do this!” God says, “I know, but I can!” And nowhere in Scripture am I called to be an unemotional stoic. In fact, the Word is full of many examples of God-loving people who experience meltdown moments. Some tore their clothes, shaved their heads, and ran to the wilderness. You can’t tell me that Peter didn’t experience a freak out moment when Jesus called him out of the boat to walk on water. And Jesus Himself wept bitterly – literally meaning from the depths of his bowels – when His friend Lazarus died, and yet He was going to raise him back to life! If Jesus, Who was both fully God and fully man wept – and I’m talking an ugly cry here – then perhaps the purest offering I can give my Lord is a broken heart (Psalm 34:18) and bottle full of tears (Psalm 56:8).
What about you? Have you been holding back a meltdown moment? Have you assumed the yoke of maintaining composure in the face of adversity for fear of what might happen if you let it go? Are you fighting back the floodgates of tears fearing that no flood wall this side of heaven could contain them? Is the grip of control on your life choking out the gentle touch of the Savior’s arms around you? You have been given divine permission to let go, and let God handle it all, if you’re willing to exchange your human limitations for His unlimited abilities. He loves you too much to leave you where you are, and He’s big enough to handle the messiest of meltdowns.